NBA 2004 All-Ugly Team by KtownMan

Most of you basketball fans in K-Town are well aware of the fact that the city of Los Angeles hosted the 52nd NBA All-Star game this weekend.  Last time LA held this event was about two decades ago, in the Great Western Forum where Magic, Kareem, and Worthy ruled basketball and introduced Showtime to this great city.

This year's All-Star game was great to watch, with basketball festivities outside of Staples Center for everyone to enjoy.  It was a fun-filled week for all basketball junkies, starting off with the unveiling of Magic Johnson's statue, NBA Jam Session, 3-point Shootout, Dunk Contest, and of course the All-Star Game itself.

And as I was watching the game tonight, I was in awe of how great these players really were.  I saw Shaq throw down monster jams, I saw Vince Carter soar through the sky, I saw Jason Kidd throwing a no look pass, and I also saw the ugliest motherfucker alive in the NBA, Sam Cassell.  I mean have you ever seen this guy?  He has eyes the side of his head, like a fuckin' fish or something.

So it got me thinking, the NBA announces its All-First Team at the end of the season, compiling the best 5 players in the league.  So I decided to make an All-Ugly Team for 2004, just to tickle me fancy.

So here it is folks, the NBA All-Ugly Team of 2004.

Sam Cassell - Like I mentioned above, this foo has eyes located on each temple, and he looks like a fuckin' fish.  An art teacher once told me that when you draw a person's face, make sure the width between the two eyes are about an eye-length apart.  Well, I think Sam Cassell begs to differ.


Nick Van Exel - Yes, the ex-Laker who brought us tears of joy, and tears of disappointment, has made Ktownman's All-Ugly Team.  C'mon man, he looks like an alien from outer space.  He's also best friends with Sam Cassell, coincidence?  I think not.



Devean George - Current Laker, the 5th wheel behind the fab-four.  Devean looks like a dude born with a genetic defect, a modern day Elephant Man.  Doesn't he look like he has down syndrome?  And what's up with his nose?  I swear, the lucky groupie that gets to ride Devean is really working for her money.



Oliver Miller - Not only is Oliver's face all out of whack, his body is built like Fat Albert.  At least the three guys I mentioned above have basketball-player-bodies, but this guys is a double whammy.  Ugly face, ugly body, welcome to Ktownman's All-Ugly Team.



Scottie Pippen - Yes, that's right.  Scottie looks like a horse with his long nose complimented by his long ass face, don't you agree?  I was going to give the last spot to Dennis Rodman but as you know Rodman is retired.  Then I was going to give it to Tracy McGrady but he made that spectacular off-the-glass-to-himself dunk today so I decided to let him off the hook.


Until next time,

 - ktownman213@yahoo.com for comments.