The Art of Forgetting (Ch.2)
BY ANONYMOUS
I was a bit surprised that he was so eager to open up to his friend's girlfriend, but then I'd often found in Korea that people felt compelled to tell me things they wouldn't share with people they had known since childhood simply because I was foreign. Though it was slightly disturbing to know that I would always be an outsider in Korea due to my pale skin and general foreignness, I relished the greater freedom that I was granted in comparison to the average twenty-five year old Korean woman. Han-Su and I sat in the corner trading shots of bourbon when suddenly he began talking.

"You know Camille, I never thought that I would feel so alone. Truly alone. I mean, I know...knew that my parents were old. They insisted on calling me "the miracle" until I was about twelve years old. They had been married for twenty-one years before my conception. When I began high school my mother was fifty-eight years old and my father was sixty-four. I guess they thought that since they had given up on having children so many years before, my arrival was something straight from the heavens. Of course, being the only child of older parents, I had it pretty easy. They were so thrilled, my father being an eldest son, to finally have someone to carry on the family lineage and perform ancestor rituals. I love...loved my parents dearly, but I can't say that I was the best son ever. I fucked around. I played them like well tuned Strads.

He paused, poured another drink, sipped, lit a cigarette and continued.

"When I was in middle school, I went to these hag-won interviews with my mom, enrolled, went home, collected the tuition fees from my parents, and never returned to the schools. My parents were so naive and trusting that when the schools called and said "Your son hasn't been attending his classes. Is something wrong?", my parents believed me when I assured them that there had been some clerical error - some mistake in their files which had mixed my name up with the name of some other delinquent student. I always, however, took great care to attend my language classes and learn as much as possible. At least that way I could go home and impress my parents with my superior aptitude for foreign languages and they would feel like their hard earned money was being well spent on my education.

"I studied hard in school and was always in the top three of my class after the test scores came back. I just never saw the point in spending all that extra money and time on those classes at the institutes that my parents thought I was attending. They were completely unnecessary and still are. Instead, I took my parents money to the local pool hall.

"By the time I graduated from high school, I had turned five years of hag-won tuition into about ten million won that I kept stashed in odd places around our home. My mother occasionally found a wad of cash in a strange place she had been cleaning...in the case of the recorded I had learned to play in elementary school, behind the wardrobe in my bedroom...she always assumed that it was money that my father was saving in order to ensure the survival of our family. Instead of getting angry or suspicious, she would serve my father and I a feast and praise my father endlessly for being such a hard worker and good provider. After so many years of deception, I couldn't tell them that I was independently wealthy, earning more money with my investments in the stock market, and not in need of all the money they were about to give me to go to university in Seoul.

"When I left for university my parents were more than generous. My tuition fees were paid for, I had a healthy weekly stipend, and my parents asked virtually no questions except

"Are you studying hard?". After my military service, I resumed my studies at SNU and graduated on time. That's the official story anyway.

Another drink, another cigarette. I reached out and touched his hand. He didn't pull away.

"Do you have an extra cigarette?" I asked.
Han-Su reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a pack of Mild Seven's. He shook a cigarette out and offered it to me. As I reached for the lighter, He glided toward me, lit my cigarette and took a seat on the floor next to me. Han-Su didn't seem to mind. In fact, Han-Su didn't even seem to notice. He took a cigarette out of His open pack of Dunhill's, lit it, and put a hand on my thigh. Han-Su took a long drag from his cigarette and continued.

"What they didn't know, what they could not have know, was that with all the money I had saved, earned, and swindled since I was fourteen, I was able to afford basically any luxury I desired by the time I began university. I was supposed to be living in the form with the other students from the provinces. I did try, but before the first month was through, I realized that it would be a sort of torture for me to remain there for the duration of my higher education. In the middle of my second month at SNU, I secured a flat somewhat removed from the campus and began my new life in Seoul. After getting my own apartment I was able to also explore the world of women. At first I was interested in girls my own age and did my best to have meaningful relationships with them. I found, however, that no matter what I did, I could not remain interested in any one for too long. They were boring, self-centered, vain, pretentious, and foolish. Not looking for meaningful relationships, rather boys who would look good on their arm and spend money on them. In lieu of a meaningful relationship, sometime during my first year I became acquainted with a group of women who I came to think of a the 'black book circle'. Women with a lot of experience, few inhibitions, and a rather high price tag. My status as a semi-independently wealthy young man gave me the freedom of being able to have my pick of the high priced escorts.

"After sitting the final exams of my final year at SNU I found myself sitting in the darkest corner of the least conspicuous bar I could find in Hong-dae. I sat in my corner sipping my second double scotch when an enchanting young woman floated into the room. Slim, but not emaciated, well dressed but not Lady Di-ish. Her sensible yet not boring black pant suit gave her an air of sophistication and professionalism rarely seen in the dives I had given myself over to in the last year. After having been satisfied in every physical way possible, the allure of my high priced companions had lost its appeal. Of course their professionalism, efficiency, and aptitude were always appreciated, but I had reached a point, at 27, where I craved something more than just the pleasures of the flesh. This woman stirred in me the desire to know her mind, not just her body - a new feeling that made me even more determined to talk to her and see if I was actually capable of having a normal relationship with a woman."


Han-Su stubbed out his cigarette and looked through me. I could feel his intense gaze go through me and hit the wall behind me - as if he were watching all this on a screen behind me. Despite the many drinks I had consumed, I was quite clear headed and felt a distinct warmness that emanated from the hand on my thigh. Han-Su continued.

"I approached her cautiously and politely offered her a drink. She refused. I went back to my place in the corner and continued watching that beautiful woman. After some time a young man entered the bar and started talking to her. They seemed to know one another. He bought them both drinks and they chatted. Somewhere during their third drink, what seemed to be a heated discussion began, escalated, and erupted into an argument. She stood up and started yelling. He, in turn, stood up rather quickly, knocked over his chair, and reached out to grab her arm. Watching from the corner, I became monumentally uncomfortable with the way this man seemed to be treating this woman. For the record, I would have been uncomfortable with any man talking to any woman in the manner that I saw that man talking to that beautiful woman. I stood up and moved quickly to their table.

I stood between the two and said "Excuse me, is everything O.K.?"

She looked at me and said "No, everything is not O.K. I need to get out of here. This creature is insulting me. Can we get out of here?"

"Sure." I answered. She grabbed her coat, linked her arm with me, waited quietly by the door while I settled the bill for both her and my table, and then quietly led me out of the bar. Out on the street, we walked east for several minutes without saying a word.

Finally, she spoke. "So what's your name anyway?"

She let go of my arm, turned and faced me.

"My name is Han-Su. Baek Han-SU. And your name?" I replied.

"I am not in the habit of giving my name out to complete strangers, but under the circumstances....my name is Min-Kyong. Yoo Min-Kyong."

She folded her arms across her chest and gave me an icy scorned woman glare.

I looked at her, bowed slightly, and said "Baek Min-Kyong...nice to meet you. Are you hungry? Would you like to go somewhere and grab a bite to eat?"

Fortunately she was hungry. "Actually, Baek Han-Su, as it happens, I am starving and I can think of nothing more I would like to do at this moment than find something to eat. Thank you for asking." She replied coldly.

I couldn't believe her. I looked at her, a bit incredulously, and then took her elbow and led her to a noodle restaurant that I often visited on my way home from school or the bad. We ordered and ate our noodles in relative silence. After the first few one-word replies to my questions, it became glaringly obvious that she wasn't interested in polite conversation. Luckily, we had taken seats at the counter and didn't have to contend with the added discomfort that would have resulted from sitting face to face.

We left the restaurant after about twenty minutes. We walked east in silence for about five minutes. Then I stopped and turned to face her.

"You know," I said "as much as I am enjoying all this uncomfortable silence with you, I think I am just going to go home and have some comfortable silence with a book and a glass of whisky."

She looked at me for a moment, shocked and maybe a little hurt by my bluntness.

"I apologize." She said. " I deserved that. I've been treating you terribly. I know there is no excuse for the way I have been behaving, especially since you have been so kind to me. The best I can say is that I am sorry. It's not an excuse, but I have a lot on my mind right now. Let me make it up to you. How about I join you for a whisky and some comfortable non-silent time together?"

I was taken aback by her complete change in attitude, but was quick enough to recover after only a split second too long.

"Sure." I said. " I would like that."

I led her to my small one room flat in a newly built office thinking all the while about how messy is was and whether or not I had left any potentially embarrassing items lying around. I came to the conclusion that it didn't matter. After all, it was my flat, and there was nothing I could do about it at that point anyway. We went in. I fixed us some drinks and put some Art Tatum on the turntable. Once inside she wasn't at all the ice princess I had first imagined her to be. After several hours we had worked our way through two-thirds of a bottle of Wild Turkey, a pack of Marlboro Lights, two sides of Art Tatum, all of Miles Davis' 'Bitches Brew' and were halfway through a live recording of John Zorn's 'Masada'.

We reached a lull in our conversation just as the sun was threatening to rise again. "No offense but I am really tired and I am sure you are too. Would you be terribly opposed to sleeping for a few hours before I escort you home?" I asked Min-Kyong sleepily.
"That sounds like a good idea. I'm exhausted." She replied.
We moved from our comfortable intertwined position on the couch to the bed. I went to my wardrobe and took out a sweatsuit for her to wear and gave it to her. I turned my back and removed my pants, watch, pants, and shirt while she went to the bathroom to change. We climbed into bed, listened to the rest of Masada, and made love while the sun rose.

I awoke at around eleven the next morning. I reached over and found only mattress, blanket, and pillow. After a minute of laying in bed contemplating the situation, I sat up and looked around. The only things she had left behind were her empty glass and a few cigarette butts. I got up, took a shower and went out to find some nourishment. An hour later I returned with a new bottle of whiskey, four Guiness beers, and a large pepperoni pizza. I sat down, had a few shots of whiskey, smoked a few cigarettes, opened a beer, ate half of the pizza, and replayed the events of the night before. As much as I had learned about Min-Kyong and as much as I liked her, I knew not how to get in touch with her. I gave myself a proverbial kick in the ass and went back to bed.

She didn't come back that day, or the next, or anytime that week. I got bored waiting so I began looking for a job to occupy my idle hours and eventually was hired to teach English at a somewhat ir-reputable hagwon. The irony of it all. After six weeks, I had given up all hope of ever seeing Min-Kyong again. During those weeks, I had taken to frequenting the bar where we had met, but not once did I see her or her companion from that fateful night.
"Eight weeks later, I was sitting at home watching JSA and having a beer when there was a timid knock at the door. I got up slowly and walked to the door. I wasn't expecting visitors and was not in the mood to be polite to any solicitors. I could have ignored the door, but then I never would have known who was calling on me. Being a curious person, I opened the door.

Min-Kyong.

"I'm sorry." She said.

I looked at her but said nothing. I am not one for scenes, public or private. Some would argue that a private scene isn't really a scene at all, but I say the quality of the moment is the same, so a scene it is whether or not there is an audience.

"I went out to get us something to eat. I didn't come back. I can't explain. I got hung up. I had a few things that I had to take care of. I was horrible. I thought of you often. I wanted to be lying in your bed with your arms around me again. I wanted to spend romantic evenings at home cooking for you. I wanted to wake up in the morning next to you, but I didn't come back. I just wanted to come by today to apologize to you. It seems that every time we meet, I end up apologizing to you. Nobody deserves to be treated the way I treated you. I'm sorry."

"I looked into her eyes and saw tears brimming over her lids. I took her hand and led her into my apartment. I began to speak. I was going to tell her that I was fine and that I forgave her and I understood and so much more, but before I could get a word in. she gently put her hand to my mouth silencing me. She led me to the bed and slowly undressed us both. We made love. Slowly, gently, passionately. I awoke the next morning to an empty bed and the smell of a warm breakfast being prepared. I sat up on my elbows and saw her in the kitchen wrapped in my robe and looking fabulous even though she had just woken up.

"For the next five months we were practically inseparable. We had decided, for reasons that I can't even recall now, that we didn't want to meet each other's parents at first. It wasn't because I was worried about what my parents would say or do. As far as they were concerned, I was the golden boy who could do no wrong. After five months I asked her if she wanted to come with me to the country to see my parents the next weekend. I didn't ask her because I was seeking my parents approval of my girlfriend or anything like that. Quite simply, I wanted to spend the weekend with her in the country and I knew that my parents would love her and she would like them too. We were planning to drive out in my Korando that Friday night after we both finished work, but when we got to my apartment we made love and decided that we wanted to lie around and relax for the evening instead of driving out of Seoul and battling the weekend traffic. I knew that my parents wouldn't care...in fact, I hadn't even told them that I was planning to bring Min-Kyong for the weekend. I was just going to show up with her - but the thing was that it didn't matter. I was free to come and go with whomever I wanted without announcing my visits or explaining my lack thereof.

"The sound of the telephone ringing ripped into my sleep and jolted me awake. It was my uncle. My parents were dead. The home that I had grown up in was burned to the ground. I had stayed home and made love to my beautiful girlfriend instead of going to visit my parents. Of course, I knew intellectually that it was pointless to feel guilty because it was just by chance that I had planned to go there in the first place. Still, I can't help but wonder, to this day, if they would still be alive if I had gone there to visit them on that fateful Friday night. Maybe I would have woken up in time to get them out of the house. Or maybe I too would have been burned alive. With Min-Kyong in my charred arms."

He stopped talking just as suddenly as he had started. We all refilled our glasses, lit cigarettes, and took long drags in silence.