Asian Men & White Women by Rickie Kim
Asian men are notorious for not being able to date white women. While the general consensus implicates that these sought out females are simply not interested physically, I beg to differ and state that partly blame lies within the Asian man himself. Exactly what separates the men and women of our community when it comes to ethnic dating options is not a difference in confidence or God given good looks. Rather, though not always the case, I believe that Asian women generally tend to take opportunities more so than men when presented. Opportunities come in different forms. Think about this. By default, in comparison women do not need to walk the extra mile to have guys notice them; women usually wait for the guys to ask them out. The drill is: guy meets girl; girl meets guy; girl waits to be noticed; guy walks up to girl and asks her out. There is very little women usually need to do besides looking presentable and showing a good personality. It is culturally expected for the guy to make the move and hope the girl accepts it. In words that are perhaps honest and blunt, we should at the very least recognize that Asian men have all the potential to date white women, not to mention other racial groups, yet are afraid to do so – afraid of the competition, the lifestyle, the break through in cultural barriers, and most importantly, the stereotypes following dating rules among ethnic groups and races.
It was recently that I visited one of the most homogenous campuses in the University of California system (the famous/infamous UCSB). For some, UCSB is a paradise of attractive looking Caucasian women and men. For others, it is the source of unbearable loneliness and segregation for the Asian community. My friend, whom I was visiting, commented that Asians stuck with their kind for the most part. So I was intrigued by his statement and decided to see that for myself. We went to the Beach for a BBQ, and noticed a handful of good looking white college students. My friend and I spent some time checking them out (mind you I have an understanding and non jealous girlfriend who is comfortable about me looking but not touching). So I decided to step outside the box and approach a white group playing beach soccer. While my friend stood behind, I played soccer with a few guys and girls who happened to be noticeably attractive. As soon as the girls dissipated off to the water, my friend approached and asked to join in the scene. It was then when I realized that my friend was a coward. Yes, my friend was a chicken. How could a pseudo-womanizer stand in the sidelines and yet not make a move? The striking fact is that I believe white women do not have a problem being approached by an Asian fellow. Sure we may be brushed off from time to time, but the dating rules still apply rooting back to the keyword “confidence.” Furthermore, I think white women are hardly flattered by fact that there are coward single Asian men checking them out from behind, whispering sexual and physical comments, without an ounce of courage to take a chance.
Although idealistically – coming from a more conservative stand point – dating individuals within your own ethnicity and race is a lot more practical for the sake of finding common ground, keeping tradition and cultural pride, the option of engaging in an interracial relationship may offer a broader sense of cultural diversity and freedom. If you are an Asian man and happen to be interested in white women, by all means do yourself a favor and go talk to them. White women are people too. You would be surprised by how friendly they are. And if you plan on asking them out… well, do not forget to look nice, be courteous and confident, and most importantly, show them what you can offer. Do not be afraid to look beyond the cultural barrier – while obviously strongly preserving your own Korean identity. Going back to the basics, just follow the dating rules.
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